Good-Bye and Thank You.

There are people native to our county who through their advocacy for others and their commitment to others, leave a lasting impression upon us long after they are gone. These people change the lives of others by advocating for people in their time of desperation and need. We have many silent giants in our little piece of the world. This blog is dedicated to a woman who has taught me how to give of myself even in the face of personal tragic circumstances.

There is a club in Delaware County that none of us ever want to become a member of - ever. The people who belong to this organization are good, loving people. Tragic, horrible and violent circumstances (in most cases) force these good people to become members. The club isn't elite. Sadly, anyone can be granted membership at anytime. I for one hope that I or any one of you are never made a member.

Many years ago, I met the founder of this Delaware County organization, a woman and mother like me. This woman was asking me for a donation as she has asked many people in our county since heading up the Delaware County Chapter of this organization. She stood proudly and determined as she asked for a donation for her fundraiser event and announced that she would take "anything I had to offer" her. During our first meeting, I found out that I had went to high school (Sun Valley) with her daughter Hope and that Hope had been murdered by a man who wanted to be Hope's boyfriend. Barbara told me the story about how another man had tried to save Hope and had been shot and killed the same night. His parents are now members of the same club Barbara and many other Parents are. Barbara DiMario is the founder of the Delaware County Chapter of Parents of Murdered Children or POMC. Barbara never knew that I had attended her daughters' funeral until the day we met. I never knew Hope's parents.

I immediately asked how Joey, Hope's son was and Barbara's eyes lit up as she replied "great". Barbara and her husband Paul were raising Joey. Barbara bragged about Joey as any grandparent would. This spring, Joey will graduate from college. Over the past 10 years, my family and I have had the honor to assist Barbara and Parents of Murdered Children with "anything we had to offer".

I have always wondered how anyone especially any mother, could find the strength to get out of bed each day with such heartache and loss let alone advocate for other parents and victims who have had their son or daughter taken from them. Barbara and Paul DiMario as well as other parents who have had their children taken from them have experienced such a personal pain that only those who have experienced it could ever understand it.

Several years ago, Barbara envisioned a memorial garden, a place of peace and healing that the families of POMC could make their own and heal. That garden through Barbara's tenacity and the help of others in the county became a reality and is now located on Furey Road in Upper Chichester Township. If you have never been there, I can assure you that angels are present and are there to listen and guide you through whatever pain or answer you seek. Anyone can visit the garden and that is exactly what Barbara and the families of POMC want you to do.

Now that Joey is raised, Barbara and Paul plan to retire to Michigan to be with one of their other children and grandchildren. In order to move into retirement, Barbara has had to give up her Directorship; which is like giving up another child.

Barbara and POMC will always be special to me not only because of Barbara, Paul and Joey but because of the many other friends that I have had whose picture appear on Barbara's victims quilt like Todd Manga and Jim Webb. I will always have the deepest respect for Barbara DiMario although I never want to be her. She will serve as a vision of strength and empathy when I need to dig deep and be a stronger person. I wish the DiMario's well in their retirement and I promise to offer the new director of POMC "anything I have to offer". On Barbara's behalf, I invite to eat lunch or walk the garden on a sunny afternoon.

So, here is some of what I know and some of what I've learned. I know that I have seen courage in action. I know that I have entirely too many friends on the victims quilt and, I have learned that healing can be achieved by helping others and by leaving a legacy such as the POMC Memorial Garden that will help heal and educate others in our county.

Until my next post, Peace be with you Barbara. I will Miss you.

Go Native.

Diane Holefelder